Dec 13, 2007

Jo'ong

i change my topic again
and as always not final yet
tomorrow present at 2.30 at studio 13
but still on ceramics
ceramic tiles at penghulu natar's house (tangga to be specific) and baba nyonya kitchenware
why melaka? why not kelantan? my place of birth and where my whole clan still reside... i don't have any concrete answer just feel like do it

last week i was at uitm seri iskandar
2nd day the hurricane came
the feeling is so bad
what make things worse, its not necessary for me to feel that way
anyway, thanks haida
and whenever i feel like shit i always believe that something good will happen after that
so, here is the better story
later, on that day, there is a cute boy (mata die bulat comel giler) sat next to me
the one that everybody, (over la tu) well not everybody but several of the girls happen to admire him
i manage to brag a bit but unfortunately i forgot his name

the week before that i was in ipoh (jugak) for my friend's wedding
hey, tiyah congrats...
first time witnessing the whole akad nikah ceromany
i don't understand why people normally crying
but i feel like crying too
but i'm busy feeling photographer more than be sentimental

Nov 27, 2007

dash

fuh...
how should i put this...
i'm holding my tears which i'm not sure why
i feel like crying

what i believe
deep down in my heart
i hope i was wrong
even if it just once
it's enough
however, things didn't work that way
at least, for me, in my world
i'm almost right

i hope tomorrow
when the sky is brighter...
blabla..

stop.
emo session dah abess..

aku pun tak tahu kenapa
bila dah tua
dorg become more and more ridiculous
the opposite of wise
aku ingat bila dah tua org jadi more wiser
tapi all my hope shattered into million pieces

aku akan jadi manusia cam tuh ke, nanti
tanak....

akak suke...

“Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.” slovenian proverb

“The cobra will bite you whether you call it cobra or Mr. Cobra.” ….Indian proverb

“He who goes with wolves learns to howl.” …. Spanish proverb.

“No matter how hard you try, the bull will never give milk.”….Ukrainian Proverb.


and this one from Pak Samad:
apa yang bukan milik kita tidak akan menjadi milik kita walau puas kita mencuba, apa yang menjadi milik kita tetap akan menjadi milik kita walau terpaksa gadaikan segala yang dimiliki.

Nov 22, 2007

gong wih de wing

my malasness is over the limit

oh..
aku jumpa satu blog sgt interesting
hope aku pun boleh write/buat something with that level of love, someday if i'm lucky enough or rajin enough to look for it...loser mind setting
reading his blog i can his feel passion for the subject

last week hanging out with friends
people can get very menyakitkan hati when they become 'the new socialite/oh, i'm so rich' kind of person
dan aku bila annoyed, aku pun jadi 'bitchy yaya dada'

relationship between human being is very fragile
it can break anytime

i wonder, how human survive this kind of relationship?
still a mystery to me

Nov 21, 2007

picollo mondo

jack of all trade, master of none

banyak sebenarnya benda yang ada kat dalam kepala aku nih...
tapi malas nak taip
jadi sampai disini sahaja pertemuan kita hari ini
sampai bertemu lagi

aku dengar fiona apple skrg
best pompuan tu
bagi aku la
dengan pronunciation ala-ala pelat die tuh

Nov 16, 2007

prejudice,prejudice,prejudice

i don't get it
why did people get so defensive
i just point out the facts
there's no need to be ***
the fact that you cherish it so much doesn't mean that it is perfect
and it wont kill you if you listen to it even if you didn't agree

it's not i telling something bad or criticize someone
malaysia is my country too, ok...
i love her no matter how she looks like

saying something bad about others doesn't make us look good, ok...
if they better than us it's not wrong to accept it
that's how we grow

hey..
get a life
read book
travel more
know people
open your mind

don't just live in your cocoon

banyak sangat 'unborn' butterfly kat malaysia ni.rosak

Oct 31, 2007

Lily vs My friend zeus

lily and my friend zeus
apa yang mereka share
-pertama dua-dua lagu pasal hanjing...
-kedua their band punya lead vocal adalah pompuan

apakah motif aku post benda ini
-tak de motif

lily come when i call her
lilily stay...(Lily-Pink Martini)

what kind of happiness we looking for in this life
what kind of happiness that i want
i couldn't answer
i don't know what i want either

oh, please don't poo...
i got a date please hurry up(MY Friend Zeus-Mocca)

Oct 24, 2007

it feels like home

Pink Martini is my favourite band.if you could called it a band because Pink Martini is actually a "little orchestra" based in Oregon.

Thomas M. Lauderdale (the founder) met China Forbes (vocalist) when they both was at Havard. Forbes would sing while Lauderdale accompanied with piano. Three years later Lauderdale ask Forbes to join the band and their first song "Sympathique" or "Je ne vaux pas travailler" (i don't want to work) became a huge hit in France.

Currently they have three album Symphatique, Hang on Little Tomato and Hey, Eugene.

for Hey, Eugene my favourites is (not in particular order)
1. Taya tan
2. City of night
3. Hey, Eugene

Hang on Little Tomato
1. Let's never stop falling in love
2. Anna
3. Dansez-vouz
4. Lilly
5. Clementine
6. Kikuchiyo to Mohshimasu
7. Aspettami

Symphatique
1. Amado Mio
2. No Hay Problema
3. Symphatique
4. Que sera sera
5. La soledad
6. Donde Estes, yolanda
7. Andalucia
8. Song of the black lizard
9. Never on sunday
10. Brazil
11. Lullaby

**haha.basically all from the first

are they that good? if u like classical. if u like orchestra kind of music. if u like various kind of languages in one album. if u like music but donno what they sang...well you could try...it works well and they are very good.

by now i think i know how to be in .....

siti aishah, that's her name and siti what i used to called her...
i feel so bad for not remember her
for cannot recalled who she is

we used to be friend
and she called me kak long meaning that she is my close friend because for a friend from school calling me by that name she must be really CLOSE.

sorry siti for not remembering you.tapi skang dah ingat dah.
your smile.the sweetest smile.still the same.your daughter have your smile.

dengan ini aku memaafkan sesapa je yang dah lupa sapa aku sebab benda macam ni bukan sengaja it just happen cam tu jerh..

Oct 20, 2007

Blood, Tears and Sweat

berani dia tanya aku ada naik bas ke lepas tu bila aku yg still blur ni cakap tak terus dia letak...
helooo.... kot ye pun nak tanya bagi la salam dulu
apa class naik bas time raya cam ni
mesti la aku naik kete
ok la lupakan je mangkuk tu...

yang penting skang nih
aku officially declare that i love terengganu
hihi sorry kepada suma org bukan terengganu
ceritanya aku balik kl ikut jalan jauh
ikut tepi pantai kononnya cantik la
tu pasal aku suka
tapi tempat lain biasa jerh...
sebenarnye aku harap jumpa org trengganu yg aku kenal
memandangkan jalan lambat sikit je dari kekura
tapi tak de....
hmmmm...

Oct 9, 2007

kiss and say goodbye

i dedicate this song to myself..
get well soon ok...

pills from the perisher

I hope my smile can distract you
I hope my fists can fight for two
So it never has to show
And you’ll never know

I hope my love can blind you
I hope my arms can bind you
So you’ll never have to see
What we’ve grown to be

One may think we’re alright
But we need pills to sleep at night
We need lies to make it through the day
We’re not ok

One may think we’re doing fine
But if I had to lay it on the line
We’re losing ground with every passing day
We’re not ok

But that’s one thing I would never
One thing I would never
That’s one thing
I would never say to you

Sep 26, 2007

Mary Had A Little Lamb

ni ke akibatnya for consuming too much daging anak kambing, for two days in a row...
sakit kepala den...
abis la aku dapat high blood pressure...
cane ni...

monday
the most beautiful day
can't wait for another monday
oh! happy day
my lovely monday
i'm sorry
today is not monday
oh! my day
waiting for you to take me away

...haha the crapiest poem/rapuan ever but i don't care cause---------->this my blog. blame for all the lamb I eat last nite and the day before and also this morning. excuse me. macam orang mabuk je..;D

Sep 25, 2007

Wonder...Wonder...Wonderfool

I never tot that I'm such a chatterbox until a few days ago when my roommate told me that I talk non-stop. then, I realize that I talk non-stop from the pegi bazaar sampai balik and sambil tunggu nak berbuka ( mesti dia dah penat dgr aku bercakap, kan ;D).

the truth is, I'm not like that with everyone. It just with someone I can trust, like a family. Madam said I chose to whom I want to talk to. "you're limiting yourself", she said. but for me, they are someone that I'm comfortable with, someone that I can trust and feel safe.

Sleepy Eyes

yeha....

finally, I got the tittle for my thesis
The Uniqueness of Malacca Baba-Nyonya Ceramic Design:Application on Building
tapi tak present dkt Dato' lagi
hopefully, successful

sangat teruja
can't wait

excited and nervous and scared
(well there's nothing to be scared about
I failed already
they're not going to double fail me
isn't it
just do it as I wish
There's nothing to loose anyway)

wow!
I'm proud of myself
hihi..

My All Time Favourite

For those with the masks

everybody wants to be a winner and take their place at the top
everyone wants their name up in lights, for the good times never stop
sometimes the bad luck will creep up and catch you by surprise
your mind's confused, you feel misused
you've got to leave those troubles behind
sometimes you win, sometimes you loses
ometimes you wanna crys
ometimes you play the fool
when you cry the whole world laughs at you
they don't seem to understand
but the time will come when the tables turn
and you're gonna have the winning hand
hold on a little longer
try to be a little stronger
and you can winyou can win
and everything is gonna be yours
sometimes you win, sometimes you lose
sometimes you wanna cry
sometimes you play the fool
you gotta hold on
the time will come.
~ patrick moten/sandra sully



Sep 24, 2007

somewhere over the rainbow

igt nk update blog
tapi tak pela...
esokla...

senyap tu sunyi ke
tak berbunyi tu bisu ke
tak bercakap tu dinding ke


Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend -- or a meaningful day-Dalai Lama

Sep 23, 2007

Someone, somewhere I tot I knew

Beberapa tahun lepas...
I recieve sms...
Ala sms standard dekat raya. mintak ampun maaf dan segala..

Receive sms dgn no yg x dikenali itu biasa sebab aku bukannye rajin update no kawan2. Budak studio pun tak suma aku simpan no dorang.

Maka ada satu sms ni berbunyi lebih kurang cam ni "...all apologies mind, body and soul" dari no 016. aku pun tercari-cari member aku yg mana hantar msg ni. dah lps raya. Lama lps tu msg tu pun aku dh delete.

Aku memang suka baca blog org. Ramai jugak member aku dkt friendster yg ada blog. Aku buka satu blog dkt yahoo 360, and baca dia nyer previous post... guess what? benda yg sama yg disent dkt aku was there. Agak terkejut, tapi aku tak pernah tanya.

Just wanna say thank you.

Sep 20, 2007

My life as a fake

A fall from the third floor hurts as much as a fall from the hundredth. If I have to fall, may it be from a high place-Paolo Coelho

berapa kali agaknya...
when we try to convince others, it is us actually we want to convince

aku...
banyak
berkali-kali

pointnya...
bila dah bercakap pasal benda yang sama
berkali-kali
at the end aku sendiri pun akan percaya apa yang aku cakap

oh! pathetic

Sep 17, 2007

The diagnose

it was a good weekend
talking to mdm harlina and bro hazman remind me of those days
it's like looking into the mirror
which i need it very much

I've been told that I'm a perfectionist
and i think i'm
that is why I'm who I'm, today

I'm an ambitious person
which is good but I'm dealing with serious conflict
it's called 'procrastinate syndrome'

as a perfectionist and ambitious person
i aiming for the best
i set my goal and i know what i want at the end
(it's not like others did not go for that)

at first everything is perfect
however, halfway i feel that the burden is too much
I'm starting to panic
and this is where the problem starts
I'm scared and exhausted
and cannot focus on even a single element of my big idea
(which according to br hazman who diagnose me..hihi...if i continue and focus even only one out of all, the result would be great)

at the end i would give up
because i cannot take that kind of pressure
this is where I failed

this is the pattern

that's is the case and i'm not sure what to do to deal with it before those who support me get bored and leave me alone...


Fazida said that i'm an ambitious perfectionist who give up halfway...
Thanks to sir and madam for the food for 'buka puasa' and welcome us with open heart...
lama gile tak jumpa sir and madam

Sep 13, 2007

sunshine

today is the first day of ramadhan...

i'm optimist

to make it

meaningful...



Sep 11, 2007

still a mystery

mystery...
yesterday still
a mystery...

huhh..
that's was so f***ing hard
wish I understand better

mystery unsolved

Sep 10, 2007

today the weather not so bright

ended up went to station by taxi
ended up waiting for 1 hour
ended up late for work
ended up very mad

almost ruin my beautiful monday

what happen

i tot i wait for bus at the bustop
not even a single bus

Mar 21, 2007

Beginner #1

A moment of happiness,
you and I sitting on the verandah,
apparently two,
but one in soul,
you and I.

We feel the flowing water of life here,
you and I,
with the garden's beauty
and the birds singing.

The stars will be watching us,
and we will show them what it is to be a thin crescent moon.

You and I unselfed,
will be together, i
ndifferent to idle speculation,
you and I.

The parrots of heaven will be cracking sugar as we laugh together,
you and I.

In one form upon this earth,
and in another form in a timeless sweet land.



All through eternity
Beauty unveils His exquisite form in the solitude of nothingness;
He holds a mirror to His Face and beholds His own beauty.
He is the knower and the known, the seer and the seen;
No eye but His own has ever looked upon this Universe.

His every quality finds an expression:
Eternity becomes the verdant field of Time and Space;
Love, the life-giving garden of this world.
Every branch and leaf and fruit
Reveals an aspect of His perfection-
They cypress give hint of His majesty,
The rose gives tidings of His beauty.

Whenever Beauty looks,
Love is also there;
Whenever beauty shows a rosy cheek
Love lights Her fire from that flame.
When beauty dwells in the dark folds of night
Love comes and finds a heart entangled in tresses.
Beauty and Love are as body and soul.
Beauty is the mine, Love is the diamond.

They have together since the beginning of time-
Side by side, step by step.



Let go of your worries and be completely clear-hearted,
like the face of a mirror that contains no images.

If you want a clear mirror,
behold yourself and see the shameless truth,
which the mirror reflects.

If metal can be polished to a mirror-like finish,
what polishing might the mirror of the heart require?

Between the mirror and the heart is this single difference:
the heart conceals secrets,
while the mirror does not.


Jelaluddin Rumi.

Beginner:1

Your embrace some form
saying, "I am this."

By God, you are not this
or that or the other

You are "Unique One"
"Heart-ravishing"

You are throne and palace and king

You are bird and snare and fowler

Like water in jar and river
are in essence the same

You are spirit are the same

You every idol
prostrates
before you

Your every thought-form
perishes
in your formlessness

Jelaludin Rumi

Mar 20, 2007

Beginning

It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop .... confucius

i don't know
confiuse la

well i guess
i use to know

i'm tired
i want to stop
but not enough courage

i'm lucky
because i have a friend
a really good friend
who believe in me
it doesn't matter how bad i feel about myself
there's always words of encouragement for me
thank you and thank you

beginning continue...

Feb 19, 2007

The apple of my eyes

Its Chinese new year's eve...

We went out and eat at Burger King until midnight...
then...
there's a red gen2 at pump no 11, a man,
wearing jeans and white t-shirt..
handsome
giler
... hahaha
He looks familiar.
I
taught
it just me since i like him...
and my friend said
"i think i
know him,he's ex-kaed
"
and i said "yes, he was. his name is ***. i used to like him".
he probably on the way back to his home town,
terengganu
, i guess.
there's also others in the car, probably his friends or relatives.



Feb 18, 2007

life is like a boat

life is like a boat

i never felt this empty before
and if i ever need someone to come along
who's gonna comfort me and keep me strong?
tabi wa mada tsuzuiteku
(the journey still continues on..)
odayakana hi mo
(even on quiet days)
tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki de fune wo terashidasu
(after the moon completes its phase, it will shine light upon ships)
inori wo sasagete atarshii hi wo matsu
(i pray for the new day to come..)
azayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made
(until it arrives across the vividly sparkling ocean)